Apparently this promo piece for Charlie St. Cloud (um, yaaawwwwn), was important enough to make to the homepage of CNN. Yep, Breaking News!
Whatever, I’m not a hypocrite for posting it here. I’m not one of the big names in the National News Media… yet. Plus Zac is looking so damn fine these days, and he doesn’t sound like a complete idiot in this interview.
Whoa. New pics of a shirtless Zac Efron reveal something we haven’t seen in years: Zac’s natural skin color. This is sort of shocking. What happened to all the bronzer? Lene and I surmised that he must’ve gone swimming in that body of water we see in the background. I wonder if they had to put out one of those oil-spill hazmat rope-buoy things to contain the orange toxic oil slick Zac left in his wake…
io9 reports that a new set of Wonder Twin action figures are soon to be released. The question was then posed, “Were they always so… buff?” This made me wonder and begin to search for an answer.
The answer is, yes, they were always pretty stacked for teenage twins. Hrm, what type of young man typically takes extremely good care of his body, very likely wears makeup, plucks his eyebrows, and always has perfectly coiffed hair? Okay, I know, I know… That one was way too easy. The obvious answer is Zac Efron!! But, what if I add the qualification: “and wears spandex?” Well, maybe Zac Efron still qualifies — I just haven’t seen that spectacle yet.
What I was hinting at is that all of these characteristics describe young gay homos. It’s so obvi that Zan was a big flaming queen. (Coincidence that Zan and Zac are such similar names? I think not…) Even when I was a young closeted gay at the wee age of 5 or 10, I recognized Zan’s queerness. And because of this strange familiarity that dare not speak its name, I had a huge secret crush on Zan.
If they do eventually make a Wonder Twins movie, they should totally play up Zan’s homosexuality. Jayna could be his super cool fruit fly sister that goes out to gay clubs with him. Heck, she could even transform into the form of a bear and fit right in with the gay bar crowd. And, how cute would it be for Zan to date some cute twinky boyfriend? The boyfriend would also have powers, and their love would be put to the test when it’s discovered that the twink boyfriend is a super villain. Haha… I think I now have the topic of my next gay erotica story!
As an added bonus to my brilliant commentary above, I found some hilarious images, a great opinion of the Twins, one amazing YouTube clip, and some interesting uses for Zan’s powers.
The Wonder Twins – Now…. a lil bit more useful, older kids (college age probably) and then that damned monkey (what is it with these kids & animals? Was there something ELSE going on we didn’t know about?)!!! Ok, for those of you that don’t know their power was to yell at the top of their lungs: “Wonder Twin Powers, ACTIVATE” and then say out loud what they are converting into. This one was a mixed bag. The girl was more useful than the guy was for the simple fact of this: She could transform into any type of animal and he could transform into any of the forms of water (oooooh scary). She could kick ass, he could cool off your Martini. And in one of the episodes he did JUST that very same thing. The monkey wanted a cool drink & didn’t have anymore ice. So he told Gayboy Elfinpunk to transform himself into some ice and get in his drink (you know this guy was weak if he got punk’d by a monkey with no powers and couldn’t speak).
And here are some clever uses of Zan’s powers from Dennis Mahoney:
Form of: Saline Solution!
Purpose: Mid-summer enema
Form of: A Gnarly Wave!
Purpose: Instant mastery of surfing
Form of: Wine!
Purpose: Proving you’re Jesus
Form of: Jacuzzi Water!
Purpose: Attracting women
Form of: Wet T-Shirt Contest Water!
Purpose: Attracting men
I was going to try to write something funny about the new Zac Efron photo shoot. Then I noticed dlisted had already done a fabulous job. Far better than I could ever hope be. So funny, in fact, that I LOL’d at work when I read it. (Bad, bad Logan — Should not be looking at hot pics of Zac Efron while eating fish tacos for lunch at work!)
Specifically, he needs a sponge bath given by me. Don’t worry, I’ll keep my slimy paws off of him. Besides, I won’t need to use my hands. I know how to hold a sponge with my ass lips. It’s a trick I learned when I was a Candy Striper.
Anyrollingaroundinanalslime, here are more pictures of the always purdy Zac Efron in Interview Magazine. Zac had to get all dirty with some naked ass model girl in a sandbox. Naked Model Girl even put her nipples on his chest. He probably giggled until his peen hole started whistling.
It’s photo shoots like this that bring out the feminist (she smells like patchouli and saw dust) in me. Why in bronzer on the nutsack hell is she naked, but he’s fully clothed? Take all them panties off, Zac! Rub those cheeks in the dirt for equality! Get those nalgas looking like Tommy Girl’s face after a marathon salad tossing with a bunch of farty Scientologays.
WHY on Earth would they cut a scene from the movie that shows off Zac’s wet, glistening muscles?! That just makes no sense whatsoever. At least we have the screenshots to keep us happy. Hopefully the actual footage will surface somehow. (pics via Towleroad)
A bunch of us went to see HSM3 on Friday night for Matty’s birthday. Some of our crew liked it more than others. One homo in our crew said he would’ve rather gouged his eyes out than have watched that drivel. (I’m glad he didn’t gouge his eyes out though, because they’re very pretty eyes.)
We saw the 10:15pm showing, and the theater was was filled with groups of homosexuals and teenage girls. Before the movie started, we homos started bonding with the teen girls over how hot (and gay) Zac Efron is. Hilarious.
Generally I thought the movie was passable. There were plenty of scenes laden with gay innuendo that had us catcalling at the silver screen and LOLing. I did’nt like this movie as much as I liked #2. I thought the musical numbers were far more original in the second movie. Senior Year was full of Troy/Gabriella ballads, which were gag-me-with-a-rusty-spoon boring.
There was this one scene on Troy’s bed where Chad and Troy share a tender moment. Troy is on his stomach and Chad comes in to talk. OMG. Seriously? At the end of the scene, Chad playfully pushes Troy’s head down into the comforter. We homos lost it and laughed riotously at this point. I overheard one girl behind me say, “I don’t get it. What’s so funny?” Honey, let me try to clarify: It was funny because it was just short of Troy and Chad stripping their clothes off and doing the butt-nasty. In fact, when Chad pushes Troy’s head into the bed, you can just imagine him saying, “that’s it Troy, eat pillow while I pound that milky-white basketball butt of yours.”
I think you can wait for this to come to DVD or the Disney Channel. It was more fun when #1 and #2 were high-production TV specials than it is now as a so-so silver screen production. Fun, but questionably worth the $12 ticket.
Lene points out that Zac’s hair isn’t Emo anymore. What’s happening to Zacquisha? It would appear he’s gaying it up a bit with that new hair style.
Here’s the caption from the site I plucked this gem from:
Guys want to be him, and girls want to be with him. And earlier tonight Zac Efron arrived at the Galen Center at the University of Southern California for the US premiere of “High School Musical 3: Senior Year.” The “Seventeen Again” hunk instantly caused all of the ladies to swoon, looking studly in a John Varvatos black tuxedo, a white buttondown shirt and a pair of Varvatos loafers.
And here’s Loganotron’s edited version:
Guys want to be inside of him, and girls want to be his fruit fly. And earlier tonight Zac Efron arrived at the Galen Center at the University of Southern California for the US premiere of “High School Musical 3: Senior Year.” The hunk instantly caused a gaggle of gay boys to swoon, looking studly in a John Varvatos black tuxedo, a white buttondown shirt and a pair of Varvatos loafers. Rumor has it he Zacquisha invited the gaggle of gays back to his private suite at an undisclosed hotel for a night of homosexualist romping.