ST:TNG Super Happy Fun Time

I have no idea how I stumbled upon this image today on Flickr today. I was searching for images of “interconnected networks” and this popped up. It sure did brighten my day though. Check out what the dude wrote about ST: TNG below the image. LOVE IT!

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I used to love The Next Generation. It was great. I found myself forgiving the fact they had no internet, and sat in chairs on a spaceship with no seatbelts. And some of the crew have to stand up. For hours probably.

They took their families with them into really dangerous situations and wore really dull clothes. They put the bridge on top of the hull in possibly the most strategically dumb place to put a bridge imaginable. They never, ever used the captain’s yacht. And when it was all over, they started making films, carrying on where the original series left off.

‘Generations’ was lacklustre and contained the most ridiculous plot device ever, a big space-bourne electrical storm that would happily chew up starships, yet allow people like Malcolm McDowell in untouched and then let them live out perfect lives forever. My inner geek would rationalise this by suggesting the Nexus was some sort of imaging or storage device created by an ancient civilisation that has gone awry, but that would be silly. Anyway, it does contain the outstanding sequence where the saucer section of the Enterprise crash lands on the surface of a planet, which is fantastic.

The fact they get pwned by a shitty old Bird of Prey captained by Klingon Fat Slag-alikes Lursa and Be’tor lets it down a bit.

Next came ‘First Contact’, which has a few daft bits, but rips along fast enough for you not to care. The Borg are ace baddies and are truly creepy. Worf and Picard get to act all hard and we get starships fighting a Borg cube. Acers. So why was Insurrection the pile of cack it ended up being. Basically, nobody gives a shit about the hippies living on the planet of eternal life in their shit clothes and soft focus hair-waving. Pah.
They might as well have been Ewoks. At least we could have had a laugh when they got shot. And why am I bothered now, so long after the event? Why am I even writing about this film? I have to. Perhaps, like Annorax from the terrible Star Trek Voyager I want to rewrite history, as the writers of Trek are so fond of doing with their constant trips into the past. By the way, Voyager was endemic of that whole Insurrection era, kind of like; ‘the fans will buy any old tat.’ Well, some of us did and some of us didn’t.

So here is my rewritten storyline for Star Trek Insurrection. I think it would have been much better, and they might not have made Nemesis then. Which was a bit like they thought, hey, Wrath of Khan was good, let’s do that but with Data getting killed. A sad ending to the franchise.

Anyway. Insurrection takes place about the time of the Dominion war as seen in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. So what do the writers of Insurrection do? Send the Enterprise off on some pissy mission to some nothing planet full of smug tossers. In the words of Winehouse:
NO.
NO.
NO.
You don’t send your most famous ship off to hide. Picard would have bitten his cup of Earl Grey tea in half when he got those orders. So NO.

The New Super-Sized Enterprise (vs. Galactica)

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via Gizmodo

Star Trek Rips Off Star Wars

Watch My Favorite Movie (Star Trek vs. Star Wars) and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

Bosom Buddies: Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto

These two guys make a pretty pair to look at. I like that they’ve been making so many press appearances together. This photo shoot is especially nice.

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Romulan Ale

Who knew that Romulan Ale “provides a blue boost of energy coupled with a delicious berry taste”??!! Now I gotta get me some!

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‘Back To The Future’ Alternate Ending

LOL

Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto on SNL

Trek Yourself

From Dan Meth who says, “I made a brand-new cartoon for Comedy Central spoofing that new Star Trek movie. My version imagines what it would have been like if this prequel was made in the 80′s/90′s heyday of teen comedies. Kirk, Spock, and the gang in high school… hmmmm.”

Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | More Video Clips

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film as, ‘Fun, Watchable’


Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As ‘Fun, Watchable’

Star Trek Protocols from Cracked.com

OMG. I looooovvvve Cracked.com:

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Star Trek Cakes

Oooooh boy. There boldly go into a realm go geekiness where no one has gone before! (Thanks to Orange for sharing.)

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via CakeWrecks

Virgins Eagerly Await Star Trek

Via Borowitz Report (and via Christian):

Studio Predicts Biggest Virgin Turnout Ever

Paramount Pictures, which is releasing the latest Star Trek movie this Friday, is hoping for record box office returns, fueled by a big turnout from the movie franchise’s core audience: virgins.

While the studio has high hopes for the movie’s success with the general audience, it is taking great pains to target the group that has flocked to every previous Star Trek film, and that means reaching out to people who have never come close to having sex.

“There is already a terrific buzz about this movie among virgins online,” said Paramount distribution spokesman Tracy Klujian. “The good news for us is, virgins spend a lot of time online.”

While Paramount admits that it has done its homework to reach America’s virgins, conducting audience testing and focus groups with moviegoers who have never been on a date, they are not taking the virgin audience for granted.

“There are so many things competing for virgins’ attention in the marketplace,” he said. “Not just the Internet, but computer games, comic books, and Transformers 2.”

Zach Sussberg, 24, a virgin in Flint, Michigan, said that he had cleared out his entire weekend to make sure that he sees the new Star Trek film.

“Everybody says that this new Star Trek is better than sex,” he said. “But hey, I wouldn’t know.”

Interestingly, Paramount’s Klujian said that the studio is not targeting moviegoers involved in the abstinence movement: “Let’s face it, those kids are having more sex than anybody.”

Star Trek Clock: Stardate Awesome

Christian and I soooo need to get one of these for our new room together.

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Via io9 and Etsy

Chris Pine: Naked and Gay

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Apollo sent me these awesome screen caps from Surrender Dorothy in which Chris Pine goes shirtless and plays a homosexual. Haawwt.

Warp 11 Star Trek Tribute Band

Some people even make Christian and Lene look tame in their Trekkie fandom.

Wow. Just, wow.