Okay, you gotta watch this video. Jake is adorable as he tries to act all badass. I love when he rips his pants off and makes faces at his female opponent. Also, when she pegs him in the butt with a tennis ball, the only thing going through my head was, “I’m sure that’s not the first time he’s had his ass slapped by balls!”
And Joe “the gay” Jonas Oh, Joe: You’re such a queermosexual. It’s so obvious when you wipe your hand on your shirt to get rig of the icky girl cooties after shaking her hand. You totally wanted to (and did?) bang Jakey off-set, right?!
Everyone’s all like: “Ooh look at Jake Gyllenhaal all buffed up for his new movie,” and “Ooh, Prince of Persia,” and “Ooh Jake will you let me lick your bulging bicep.” (Okay, so I’m exaggerating a little bit.) BUT STILL, dude! Jake Gyllenhaal is so 2007. When he got engaged to Reese Witherspoon in January of 2008 he should’ve been declared officially dead to the gay community. I’m so 3,000 and 8, he’s so 2,000 and LATE. Over it. Buh-bye. Sayonara. Dead to me. Dead, I say!
I ran across these pictures tonight while surfing for something totally unrelated to Jake or Heath. How cure are these pics? Must’ve been from the time during Brokeback Mountain…
It’s all over the news today. Read it here, here, and here.
Sorry Jake, I don’t buy it. Neither does WWTDD:
This is still way suspect. For starters, she’s 31 and he’s 26 and she has two kids. Also, he’s super gay. Although if he’s not gay, pretending to be gay would be a pretty good ploy to get chicks. You could get drunk with a girl, bang her in the ass then play it off by going shopping for shoes. And if you need a pair of shoes, it’s win-win.
This dude should really just come out of the closet. He’s full blown gay and this vagina based treachery isn’t fooling me for one second. Is it just self loathing or what? He has to hate himself a little if he’s pushing his penis up against Reese and Kirsten Dunst. I don’t see what the big deal is. I would totally go queer if I wasn’t such a manly hunk. Gay guys get to drive fuel efficient cars and wear tank tops, and you’re rarely gonna get carjacked by a homo. All in all, you could definitely make a decent argument that the world would be better with more gay guys.
And finally, here’s another gay dude with his fag hag. Holding hands with a girl doesn’t make you straight.
Why is Jakey so familiar with what a men’s room floor feels like? This from the same interview where he denies being gay. The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
“I discovered two things that day: that the floor in a women’s bathroom is colder than the floor in the men’s. And believe me I’ve spent a lot of time on the floor of a men’s bathroom so I should know!”
Uhhhh … did he just say he spends a lot of time on the floor in mens bathrooms? So much so that he can compare the temperature of the tile? Holy moly. The article isn’t clear, but I’m assuming they did the interview while he was roller-skating in between some orange cones he set up on Venice Beach, right after he put on some tiny metallic silver shorts and a cowboy hat.
WHICH movie studio is desperately trying to hide its latest star’s homosexuality? They have made him pair up with his leading lady, whom he couldn’t care less about.
Chris Apollo did some internet sleuthing last night and sent me some delectable links. Ted Casablanca posted several “blind items” in his E!Online blog referencing the homo-tendencies of a certain Hollywood studlet who he referred to as Toothy Tile. Ted continued to post additional clues about Toothy Tile’s identity, while only publishing his readers’ guesses if the guesses were wrong.
This Livejournal post has the collected clues and refuted guesses nicely collected. This blog puts some rubber to the road by calling out Jake and Austin Nichols. And finally, a whole blog on the Toothy Tile phenomenon, including a nice post detailing the origin of the Tooth.
Thanks to his Apolloness for stoking the fire in my loins for Jakey, er… I mean Toothy.
For reference, see the loganotron related posts here and here. Jakey is a gay homosexual. Woo!
