At first I wanted to hate Chace Crawford for having an assistant to hold his umbrella. Then I stared at Chace’s face and realized I can’t hate someone that pretty. Finally, I read dlisted’s commentary on the matter and I laughed uncontrollably.
Chace Crawford is as fragile as a baby unicorn’s first coo and as precious as a bunny in a bubble bath, so you can’t expect him to hold his own umbrella! Besides, it’s impossible for Chace to hold his own umbrella. He might smudge his freshly polished nails or smear the foundation on his palms. Blake Lively and Leighton Meester can hold their own umbrellas, because their ancestors were vikings or miners or some shit. They are built for hard labor, but not Chace.
Fun Fact: Chace’s umbrella was originally white, but he accidentally farted and his multicolored butt fumes waltzed through the air before landing on it.
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I don’t get star struck when I meet stars in person. Sure, I gush about them here, in the anonymity of the blogosphere. But when I’ve met Hollywood types in person, I’m always struck by their normality.
That being said, if I ever met Chace Crawford in person, I’m not sure I’d be able to utter anything intelligible. His raw sex appeal and popularity would likely render me a babbling idiot. I’d be reduced to monosyllabic caveman like grunts and body gestures. However, I’m sure that laying down on my back with my ankles behind my ears would sufficiently convey the appropriate message/invitation to my cute little Chacey-poo.
…Or at least he should be. Rumors suggest that John Krasinski could be cast as Captain America. I love John on The Office, but he’s no Cap. Of the others noted, Chace Crawford is appealing, but only because we’d get to see him in skin-tight spandex. Other than that, he’s not the right fit either. I could totally see Chris Evans as Captain America. Only problem is, he’s already Johnny Storm. So… I think Scott should at least get a shot the part. Because damn, look at how he fills out that costume!
These new pics of Chace Crawford give me dirty ideas and a tingling sensation “down there.” Make sure to click through the rest of the post to see a sexy, shirtless photo and two of the photos below in larger format.
Apparently Chace got tired of looking like Pete Wentz. Either that or his stylist got all eco-friendly and decided to save energy by eliminating straightening irons from her repertoire. Whatever the case, Chace got himself a new hairdo.
Ethan at EthanSays loves the new ‘do.’ And, while I generally vibe with what Ethan dishes, today I’m going to have to disagree. I think Chace’s new haircut looks awful. The feathered bangs and the gobs of makeup give him a certain mannequin-like look. Thumbs down. FAIL.
Quick, Chace: Iron out your hair and rat it back to the old emo/hipster look. You’ll be glad you did…
Dude, these two homos should just get it over with and play some tonsil hockey in public already. Jeebus! They’re already porking each other in the privacy of their own home. Just bring it to the streets so we can get our kicks, please!
The gals on The View ask Chace and Ed if they are boyfriends. The two closeted homosexual lovers totally avoid the question and provide a vague answer. All we really know is that they’re “having fun.” Heck, I can testify that gay sex qualifies as “having fun.”
Not that I’m harping on these folks. Just pointing out that while so many of us in the gay blogosphere despise and repudiate Perez for his classlessness, we still seem to hang on his every word. At least when it comes to outing gay celebrities, that is. I’ve certainly been guilty of repeating Perez’s filth before. Even this post validates and dignifies his gossip, in a way.
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