Leaving Home
Today I did one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I told my bosses of six years that I’m moving on. It felt like a break up. One where the other person has been nothing short of stellar. Where they’re your closest friends and they know everything about you. Friends with whom you’ve been on amazing adventures. With whom you’ve suffered defeats but also reveled in numerous successes.
I told them that this new opportunity was too good to pass up. The chance to manage my own department. To put new skills to the test. And to be exposed to the wider world of branding. This is all true.
However, I also said that the hardest part of my decision was leaving them. And this is even truer. I’ve never had better bosses and, well, better friends.
Hours later, as I waited for the elevator to go get my afternoon coffee, I stared out the window at the gorgeous Oakland hills blanketed in sunlight. A wave of sadness descended upon me. I crossed the threshold of the open elevator doors, and I cried. A single tear. One of many more to come, no doubt. In fact, the lump in my throat as I write this is so big I can hardly breathe.
Which tells me that these people, this company, have made a huge impact on me. I’ve felt this way only three times in my life. Once when I left home for college (I cried for six straight hours on the flight to Boston). Again four years later during my final night in Cambridge (leaving what had become my new home, I cried for two hours as my family packed up my dorm room). And finally back in 2005, when my nine roommates and I had to move out of our warehouse in SoMa (we threw a huge farewell dance party and as the speakers pumped out their final bass note, I cried uncontrollably).
That’s it, isn’t it? I’m leaving home again.
And there they are. The tears return. This time with a vengeance. They stream down my face. Blur my vision. Reveal the true impact of this decision. And they just keep coming.
I’ve made the connection. I’m leaving home, once again. This realization grips and wrenches my heart. But through the pain I also feel happy. Happy to realize that I’ve become so close to this handful of people that leaving them, leaving home, is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
