At first I wanted to hate Chace Crawford for having an assistant to hold his umbrella. Then I stared at Chace’s face and realized I can’t hate someone that pretty. Finally, I read dlisted’s commentary on the matter and I laughed uncontrollably.
Chace Crawford is as fragile as a baby unicorn’s first coo and as precious as a bunny in a bubble bath, so you can’t expect him to hold his own umbrella! Besides, it’s impossible for Chace to hold his own umbrella. He might smudge his freshly polished nails or smear the foundation on his palms. Blake Lively and Leighton Meester can hold their own umbrellas, because their ancestors were vikings or miners or some shit. They are built for hard labor, but not Chace.
Fun Fact: Chace’s umbrella was originally white, but he accidentally farted and his multicolored butt fumes waltzed through the air before landing on it.
I thought this a powerful message and a bold topic for Instinct to cover. The story and the photography are both stunning. What’s more, I had cued up Matt Schiermeier as a Humpday Hotness in the not too distant future. This amazing story will move him up to the front of the line for sure.
It started with his vision. An infection made itself known in and around Matt Schiermeier’s eyes, leading a doctor to suspect he had AIDS. Like many in the decades before him, when the disease ran through a series of titles—G.R.I.D., gay compromise syndrome, gay cancer—Matt’s heart sank at the news. Rather coldly, says Matt, the ophthalmologist mentioned that the last time he had seen this specific infection, the patient died within two weeks. A few blood tests later it became reality: Matt was HIV positive. And his T-cell count had fallen below 200 cells per cubic millimeter of blood—the cutoff point, where HIV becomes full-blown AIDS.
After the diagnosis, Matt was as certain in his future as he was of the source of his infection—he’d only been in one relationship with a man before contracting the disease. “I cried and was pretty upset for about a day. It didn’t take me long to snap out of it and realize there was no way, shape or form that HIV was going to kill me,” Matt recalls, his voice bearing the weight of the memory. “It was the end of the fear.” That was in 2000.
Ten years later, 33-year-old Matt’s vision has improved, but HIV/AIDS remains in his focus. “I want people to look at me and see that this is what being HIV positive can look like. I have a dream to show people that I’m positive, strong, healthy and in a great relationship,” he announces for the first time to the world.
Read more about Matt and Cam in our July/August issue, out now!
I thought for sure that I’d featured Evan on Humpday Hotness before. But, I was wrong. So, here’s a MEGA post filled with scrumptious photos of this little hottie. Evan is a native Jersey boy. And, at 22 years old, he’s got nowhere to go but up. (Also, I kind of think he looks a little like my friend John’s brother. False Profit peeps, am I right?)
Here’s Evan on the (mis)pronunciation of his name: “I actually think its pretty funny how my name is mostly misspelled as Evan Wade instead of Evan Wadle… Everyone who’s known me since I was young has just called me The Wad: much easier.” Oh great Hera up on Mount Olympus! Evan just secured his position in every gay man’s fantasy with that nickname. LOL!
I don’t get star struck when I meet stars in person. Sure, I gush about them here, in the anonymity of the blogosphere. But when I’ve met Hollywood types in person, I’m always struck by their normality.
That being said, if I ever met Chace Crawford in person, I’m not sure I’d be able to utter anything intelligible. His raw sex appeal and popularity would likely render me a babbling idiot. I’d be reduced to monosyllabic caveman like grunts and body gestures. However, I’m sure that laying down on my back with my ankles behind my ears would sufficiently convey the appropriate message/invitation to my cute little Chacey-poo.
Kellan Lutz made a surprise appearance on Ellen’s show to promote the DVD release of New Moon. The audience proceeded to have mini-orgasms and soak their panties every time Kellan spoke. (And of course, half of the audience was made up of gay men soaking their panties too!)
Btw, I’m digging his new hair style. Much prefer it to the shorter look. Also, check out the part from 0:59 to 1:10. Hello, major bulge action! Hot…
Apparently Taylor Lautner’s abs and pecs were fake in the New Moon poster. Well, to be fair, they were real abs and pecs, just someone else’s abs and pecs. They belong to model Edilson Nascimento (former Humpday Hotness). Well, we think the now officially legal Taylor Lautner is still a hunk and a half with or without Edilson’s abs.
Update: Boy Culture points out that it’s not clear that this was ever an official poster, but was instead a fan generated poster. That would explain it then…
Okay, you gotta watch this video. Jake is adorable as he tries to act all badass. I love when he rips his pants off and makes faces at his female opponent. Also, when she pegs him in the butt with a tennis ball, the only thing going through my head was, “I’m sure that’s not the first time he’s had his ass slapped by balls!”
And Joe “the gay” Jonas Oh, Joe: You’re such a queermosexual. It’s so obvious when you wipe your hand on your shirt to get rig of the icky girl cooties after shaking her hand. You totally wanted to (and did?) bang Jakey off-set, right?!
Is it wrong that I can recite the lyrics to Ice Ice Baby without a musical cue? Wait, don’t answer that…
Oh, and I LOVE the appearance by Vanilla Ice and his rock retake on his original lyrics. I won’t lie. There’s something pretty effin’ hot about Dirtyrock Vanilla Ice singing alongside the alabaster skinned twinkies. Oh how the mind will wander…
