The Case of the Missing Pajama Bottoms

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So a few years ago I hired a maid. Vilma. She’s amazing. I love that she’s as sweet as can be. And that she walks around all day saying, “Hola GATO” to Puck. She loves that I try my darnedest to speak to her in Spanish. But there are the most amusing little quirks.

Like how she never matches my protein shaker bottle lids with the color of the bottle. Or how she hangs up my workout shirts with my tank tops. Um…. While my workout shirts are sleeveless, they are certainly not tank tops and they go in a drawer not on hangers. Ugh, straight people will never understand this important difference. And how when she hangs up my tanks and workout shirts, she clearly doesn’t recognize the ROY G BIV color coding system I’ve put in place and she gets it all messed up. And of course there’s the constantly swapping of towels between my roommates bathrooms and mine. Now, to be fair they are both charcoal grey. But mine are longer and theirs have different embroidered texture lines in them. So it’s an easy mistake. I guess…

But the most curious thing to ever happen in these many years is the random disappearance of my plaid pajama bottoms this week. I can’t find them anywhere. I’ve looked high and low. In drawers. In the closet. In the linen credenza. Under the bed. I even looked in with the tank tops in case she got really confused on that whole topic and hang them up out-of-color-code (because, lesbihonest, where would you hang up multi-color plaid? Um. Wait. There’s totally an answer for that. Never mind.)

Anyway. Nada. Desaparecido. I mean… They’re totes cute. And comfy. And I miss them. I know she stashed them away somewhere. Ooooh, maybe I should check with my mismatched shaker bottles? Or in the pantry? Or in the guest room?? I might start posting missing pajama bottoms signs around my house in case the cat spots them and can report back to me. Stay tuned. More to come on this developing story…

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