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It’s really painful to admit that this video has everything that I love: rainbows, disco, unicorns, and James Van Der Beek. Seriously, you just have to watch it to understand. It’s possible that Ke$ha just out gaga’d Lady Gaga with this video.

And don’t miss James Van Der Memes.

First DC released Green Lantern: First Flight, which was awesome. (Read my review here). Now they’re set to release another one called Green Lantern: Emerald Knights. Both of these animated films look about a million times better than the live action movie is likely to be. Sigh.

I couldn’t figure out how to link directly to this section of Ricky’s blog, so I’ve snipped it and included it here. Make sure to check out Ricky’s blog though. He’s so freaking awesome.

Without further ado, Ricky Gervais’ sample Oscar opening dialogue:

Oh, and good luck to James Franco and Anne Hathaway at The Oscars on Sunday. I know how nervous they must be right now.

They will do an absolutely fantastic job and don’t need my help, but I’ve written a little opening in case they have a few minutes to fill.

(Drum roll)
V.O.
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Please welcome your hosts for this evening…
James Franco and Anne Hathaway

(Music and applause)
(James and Anne walk out looking absolutely perfect)

JF
Hello and welcome to The 83rd Academy Awards,
Live from Los Angeles.

AH
That’s foreign for City of Angels.
And this room is certainly filled will those angels.
(Applause)

JF
Thank you. I’m James Franco.
AH
…and I’m Anne Hathaway.

JF
You probably know me from 127 Hours where I play a man trapped in an enclosed space who decides he would rather cut his own arm off than stay where he was. Now that sounds “way out” but wait till half way through this fucking ceremony and you’ll start to identify with him.

AH
And I’m the new Catwoman. The first white woman to play that role since Michelle Pfeiffer. I want it to be an inspiration to all white people everywhere. Your dreams can come true in Hollywood too.

JF
It’s a daunting task hosting The Oscars but we’re not alone. Presenting awards tonight will be a string of Hollywood legends and some other actors who have a film out in March or April.

JF
Usually they hire comedians to host The Oscars, but tonight, instead, you get us!

AH
No comedians tonight. And do you know why? Because comics are ugly.

JF
Especially that rude obnoxious one who played the Steve Carell part in the English remake of The Office.

AH
But you can all relax because Ricky Gervais is in London…

(Nervous laughter)

He’s doing some charity work.
Yeah, he’s visiting orphans with cancer.
He’s telling them what bald little losers they are…

JF
Yeah, cos he’s rude right?

(Applause)

Thank you.
No rudeness tonight.
It’s going to be a night of the most privileged people in the world being told how brilliant they are and thanking God for loving them more than ugly poor foreigners.

(Applause)

That’s not to say that we don’t care. No, apart from all the great movies we made this year we continued our life-saving philanthropy. Mega stars like Angelina Jolie, George Clooney and Ben Stiller brought light to third world poverty and famine and shocked the world with visions of children so hungry they’d been living off dead beetles all their lives.

AH
Yeah and Yoko Ono said. “What’s wrong with that?”

(Laughter)

JF
Oh Anne you are naughty. In a respectful, wholesome way.

(Nodding and smiling)
That Ricky Gervais should do more for charity.

(Murmurs of agreement)

Ricky Gervais is now worth $80,000,000. The obnoxious Brit confirmed the figure, adding,”Yes and my dentist hasn’t seen a penny.”

AH
Yeah, why doesn’t he get his teeth straightened and bleached like everyone else in Hollywood?

JF
It’s a good question Anne. For the same reason he doesn’t have botox or suck up to important producers – there’s something wrong with him.

AH
There must be. Why isn’t the stocky, fangy, little slob more like us, right?

JF
That ugly dude needs to get a Hollywood makeover, big time.

AH
Quite. And even though most of the actresses here have eating disorders, that’s better than being fat right?

JF
You bet it is gorgeous.

AH
You are so handsome.

JF
Exactly.
You know Ricky Gervais used to be bulimic.

AH
Really?

JF
Yes. He’d often gorge himself for hours with cheese and cakes.

AH
And then vomit right?

JF
No he left that bit out…

(Mild laughter)

AH
That’s because he couldn’t get his fat fucking fingers in his stupid mouth.

(Big laugh)

JF
Anyway let’s get this show on the road.
There were some great kids’ movies this year.
I took a five year old to see Toy Story 3 last week.

AH
Did you enjoy it?

JF
No it was ruined for me because the little brat was screaming and crying all the way through the film saying, “Who are you?” “You’re not my daddy.” “Take me back to the park where you grabbed me…”

(Laughter)

AH
Oh James, you are a card. And your slightly risky jokes are not threatening because you’re one of us. And you are so handsome.

JF
Absolutely.
So let’s get this show on the road.
Our first presenter is a Hollywood legend whose boots Ricky Gervais would not be fit to kiss…

The wonderful…
Mel Gibson…

(Standing ovation)

And so on…

So. Fucking. Amazing.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

via Eric and newyorkiloveyou

SuperHarmony.com is amazing. No, it’s suuuuper.

via Marc

I was on the way home tonight and I randomly decided to play Alanis Morissette’s album Under Rug Swept. The first song on that album is 21 Things. I’m really glad I listened to that song tonight. For whatever reason, it was fated that I hear it tonight. Here are the lyrics and my parenthetical thoughts as I listened to the song tonight…

Alanis Morissette: 21 Things

Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds? (Empathy is awesome)
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition? (Aggressiveness is good too)
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know (Be smart as fuck)
that it alone does not equate to wisdom? (Humility. Yes, please)
Do you see everything as an illusion
but enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine,
politically aware, (Preferably a lefty liberal like me)
and don’t believe in capital punishment? (Believe in atonement)

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer

Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
loving someone can actually feel like freedom? (Be open to going head-over-heels)
Are you funny a la self-deprecating, (Laugh at yourself once in a while)
like adventure, and have many formed opinions? (Stand for something)

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

I’m in no hurry; I could wait forever (I’m not gonna compromise)
I’m in no rush cause I like being solo (I fucking love being single!)
There are no worries and certainly no pressure (Not losing any sleep over it)
In the meantime I’ll live like there’s no tomorrow (Life is awesome NOW)

Are you uninhibited in bed,
more than three times a week, (ahem, 3 times per day…)
up for being experimental? (If you know me, I need say no more)
Are you athletic? (Physical fitness is good for your mind, body, and soul — and sex)
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? (Altruism is a total turn on)
Are you not addicted? (No no no no meth. Ever. Sheesh)

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

This cute little blond muscle twink caught my eye right away. I love short guys. And at 5’7″ Brody now occupies a permanent spot in my late night fantasies. Also, he’s an artist, which totally makes me swoon. And he lives in San Francisco. How do I meet this guy and propose already?

Here’s how he describes himself:

I am a creative, active and artistically talented man who enjoys expression and life. Beyond modeling, I am also a painter/actor and I feel that I have a great eye for the art industry.

More of this cute little muscle twink after the jump

via DQS

You might’ve heard about the new fitness book that’s causing a stir: It’s called 4-Hour Body by Tim Ferriss. The book isn’t meant to be read cover to cover (though, that’s how most reviewers are treating it). It has various chapters to help readers achieve a variety of goals: Weight loss, muscle gain, a better sex life, a better night’s sleep, running a marathon, etc.

I decided to focus on the weight-loss section first. In the last four years, my body has transformed dramatically. I’ve leaned up quite a bit and put on considerable amount of muscle. But I’ve never been able to really lose those pesky 10 pounds around my middle section (front and back). I decided that Tim’s Slow Carb diet was worth a shot. What’s more, my friend in Atlanta and my sister and her boyfriend were trying it too. My Atlantan friend had already lost between 5-10 pounds in the first few weeks and my sister lost 5 pounds in her first week.

What’s the Slow Carb Diet?
Here’s the rhyming mnemonic device I created for the diet: Proteins, green, and beans. That’s about it. You must eat a protein, a legume, and a vegetable at every meal. And you have to eat breakfast (with protein, beans and greens) within half an hour of waking up. You can eat as much as you want until you’re full three or four times per day. And drink TONS of cold water all day long.

And then there’s a list of thing you are forbidden to eat: anything white (bread, pasta, mayo, milk, soy milk, cheese, garbanzo beans, etc.) artificial sweeteners, nuts, whey protein, most sauces, fruits, juices, and a few other things.

Don’t freak out yet, though. There are a few allowed cheats: up to two doses of aspartame per day (Tim loves his two diet cokes per day), up two tablespoons of almond butter per day, up to two tablespoons of milk or cream in your coffee, and up to two glasses of red wine per night (NOT white wine though). And the best part of all is every Saturday you are required to have a cheat day. It’s not that you can cheat if you want to. No. You must cheat. Eat carbs all day. Eat cookies, drink milk, eat pizza, you get the picture. The idea is that if you eat a carb-free diet for too long, your body will go into conservation mode and will slow down its metabolism, thus reducing the rate of fat loss over time. By slamming your system with carbs once a week, you kick-start the diet each week.

Now this diet is pretty much a ketogenic diet like Atkins. But it’s even more restrictive than Atkins. It’s also not meant to last forever. You go on it to lose weight, not to have fun. And trust me, it’s not very fun. It can be boring as hell eating this stuff. But if losing weight tasted good or was fun, America would be a country of skinny fuckers.

My Experience
Okay, now that you understand the protein, beans, and greens Slow Carb diet, I’ll tell you how I went about it and what my results were. First, I set a goal: approximately 10 pounds of weight loss in 4 weeks. And knowing that I was going to be bored by bland food for only four weeks, it made it much easier to keep on going.

I was extremely religious about sticking to the diet. I ate eggs, egg whites, spinach, and lentils every morning for 4 weeks. I ate beans three times per day (with the help of Beano). I switched to espresso instead of coffee so I could get by with reduced amounts of cream. I switched to no more than a full packet of aspartame per day (instead of 6 packs of Splenda per day). I drank a ton of cold water each day. And I cheated on Saturdays (although, with some moderation).

During the first two weeks I did absolutely no cardio. In fact, I had the flu and was on antibiotics for a sinus infection during the second week. During weeks three and four I did cardio three times per week for 30 minutes each time. That’s it.

Now a little about my dietary handicaps. I’m a pescatarian/vegetarian. This reduced my protein options which meant I got really bored really fast. I also take a few prescription medications that might affect my liver, thus reducing my ability to process fat. And finally, I was only trying to lose 10 pounds. Most people who lose the 5 pounds per week that Ferriss touts in the book, are trying to lose 10, 20, 30, or even 50 or 100 pounds. So my loss was bound to be a little slower.

Okay, enough caveats and explanation. Here are my results:

Weight Loss:
Starting weight: 190
End of Week 1: 187.5
End of Week 2: 186
End of Week 3: 185
End of Week 4: 182.5

Body Fat Loss:
Starting body fat: 13.7%
End of Week 1: 12.1%
End of Week 2: 11.6%
End of Week 3: 11%
End of Week 4: 10%

The cool thing is that 3.7% of my starting weight is roughly 7+ pounds, which means all the weight I lost was fat. Awesome! The fat loss is visibly noticeable. My abs and torso are thinner, my abs are showing, my waist is thinner (I’m now using a notch down on my belts), and my butt it smaller (my pants are baggy in the butt). This is the thinnest I’ve been (as a measure of body fat) in a very long time. And I haven’t been below 185 since the early 2000′s. The only result I’m not ecstatic about is the smaller butt. I’ve always liked my bubble butt. But now I’ll just turn it into a muscle butt instead.

The Next Step
Which brings me to the question, “What’s next?” I’m going to spend two weeks getting used to lifting weights again. (I haven’t lifted weights since early December when I had salmonella and got off track.) And then I’m going to go on a six-week muscle gain regimen at the gym. Followed by two more weeks of this diet to lose any of the fat I might gain while consuming massive amounts of food to gain muscle. Which will get me to May 1st. And then who knows what I’ll do after that. Stay tuned for updates about my progress on the upcoming routine.

Back in 2003, I was distressed about the start of the Iraq War. In fact, I credit two things with outright shoving me down the path of addiction to politics: The Iraq War and G.W. Bush’s reelection. I’d always been liberal (I portrayed Dukakis in our 6th grade mock Presidential debates). But it wasn’t until 2003 that politics became a passion of mine.

At the end of 2003, I made a playlist of political, anti-war, and pro-peace songs. I titled it: There’s Something Happening Here. I gave this mix out as holiday gifts in December both in digital format and on burned on CDs. I rediscovered the playlist today and listened to it again. In light of the people’s protests across the Middle East and in Wisconsin, I thought I’d share it with you here. Enjoy.

Download: There’s Something Happening Here

Playlist after the jump

You need to know about these protests, legislator walk-outs, and potential strikes going on in Wisconsin right now. This is a HUGE deal. These are the first signs of the class war that is coming. It’s the return to the labor versus big money happening again like it did in the early 1900s. Inequality is rising and the people are finally organizing. Seriously. You need to watch this video where Rachel Maddow clearly explains what this is all about.Then read the articles below. This is only the beginning of a much bigger fight. Mark my words.

The Madison Cap Times – Walker gins up ‘crisis’ to reward cronies

Ezra Klein – WaPo – Unions aren’t to blame for Wisconsin’s budget

Ezra Klein – WaPo – What is actually being proposed in Wisconsin?

Stephanie Taylor – Salon – What Wisconsin’s governor is really threatening

Steve Kornacki – Salon – The dirty secret about Wisconsin

Robert Reich – Salon – The real Republican strategy

Adele Stan – AlterNet – Wisconsin Is a Battleground Against the Billionaire Kochs’ Plan to Break Labor’s Back

AlterNet – Radical States: GOP Forcing Their Nightmarish Right-Wing Vision on People Who Elected Them